


something like a phenomena

by falsealarm



Category: DC's Legends of Tomorrow (TV)
Genre: F/F, First Time, Polyamory
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-05-22
Updated: 2018-05-22
Packaged: 2019-05-10 00:54:08
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 9,310
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14726889
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/falsealarm/pseuds/falsealarm
Summary: But maybe it isn’t dread that shifts in her gut. The more she thinks about Amaya’s mouth the warmer she feels, a familiar warmth, but in the way something might be if you’d dug it out of your garage after years of disuse. A warmth that feels like the exercise bike you used twice when you were 21 then tucked away again because it just didn’t fit your body the way you thought it would.[or Zari has a series of sex dreams and supposes she needs to do something about them. Post-episode 3.14. Mentions of Amaya/Nate.]





	something like a phenomena

**Author's Note:**

  * For [pirateygoodness](https://archiveofourown.org/users/pirateygoodness/gifts).



> Happy happy happy birthday to one of my most favorite people. I think originally this fic was supposed to be two separate ones but I found a nice way to write them together and I thought you'd appreciate that. I really hope you like it pal. <3
> 
> Technically, the first couple bits are a rewrite of the end of 3.14 and I stretched time a little to make this all fit in before 3.15 if you're at all truly curious about when this all takes place. Also, this is a sequel to [_i think i'm ready (to let you get under my skin)_](https://archiveofourown.org/works/14025936) but it can be read by itself too.
> 
> Mentions of Amaya/Nate and Sara/Ava and if you squint for a second Nate/Ray. Title from "Phenomena" by Yeah Yeah Yeahs.

It’s not that Zari feels neglected or anything, it’s just that Amaya spent most of the Elvis mission making googly eyes at Nate. She knows Amaya loves him and that’s sweet or whatever but  _ seeing _ them together makes Zari a little nauseous sometimes, that’s all.

So when the group finally does part and Amaya follows her back to her bunk, Zari’s probably a little saltier than she should be. “You done with Nate?”

“Hush,” Amaya says, reaching out to grab for Zari’s hand as the door whooshes shut behind them.

Zari lets herself be tugged closer to Amaya, smiling despite herself as Amaya reaches up to stroke the collar of her jacket. They’d done the debrief before getting undressed this time, much to Zari’s disappointment. She’d only gotten as far as unbuttoning her jacket before Sara had them all on the bridge and she’s itching to get out of it. The hand at Zari’s collar slides down the inside edge of the jacket before slipping under to hold the curve of her waist.

“I think Nate’s in love with Elvis, you know.”

“He definitely is,” Amaya agrees, “it’s sweet.” She squeezes a little at Zari’s waist, moves in close enough to nose at Zari’s jaw. “You’re not mad at me, are you?”

“For what? Babysitting Nate?” That’s what Zari likes to call it when Amaya and Nate pair up on missions, it makes her feel better even if she knows it isn’t necessarily true.

Amaya laughs and Zari can feel it against her neck, gets a shiver up her spine. “You sound mad,” Amaya presses her lips to the space beneath Zari’s ear, lets her mouth linger as Zari answers:

“Not mad, just sick of this dress.” As she says it, Zari feels Amaya smile against her skin.

“Oh, I can help with that, if you’d like?”

Despite the position they’re in, Amaya’s question sounds more like a genuine request than a proposition. Despite Amaya’s insistence that Zari always looks beautiful in them, she knows how much Zari hates dresses.  “Please,” Zari says after a moment.

Both Amaya’s hands move underneath her jacket then, sliding up to sit on her shoulders before gently pushing back to ease the jacket off. It slips down Zari’s arms, makes a soft thump as it falls to the floor and Amaya keeps her hands on the curve of Zari’s shoulders as she steps back.

“Better?” She asks with a smile.

“Much,” Zari hums.

Getting undressed after a mission is usually a solo operation, unless Zari feels especially restricted in her costume. This dress isn’t terribly complicated so Amaya doesn’t really need to be there but it’s not like Zari is going to shoo her away, especially if she keeps smiling at Zari like she is.

Zari’s body feels a little heavy, exhaustion weighing on her shoulders the way it does when she uses her powers for an extended period of time. The muscles of her arms are starting to get a sore and as she reaches to pull the zipper of her dress she winces audibly. 

“Here,” Amaya pats Zari’s hand gently to get her to stop as she moves around behind her, “let me help.”

Her help is careful. The pull of the zipper just enough pressure to send another ripple of a shiver down Zari’s spine as it moves. “Thanks,” Zari says quietly as she feels Amaya pause.

But she’s not done yet, she reaches up to slide her hands under the dress, over Zari’s bare shoulders to push at the dress much like she did Zari’s jacket. Instead of falling back, the dress falls forward, catching briefly at Zari’s waist before the weight of the fabric forces it all the way down to the floor. Beneath the dress Zari’s in a skirt slip and a horrendous, historically-accurate bra and underwear set that she make her feel caged despite the amount of skin she’s showing. But still, she feels like she can breath again, even if her breathing is somewhat stunted as Amaya starts kissing the nape of her neck and smoothing her hands down Zari’s arms.

Truthfully, this kind of interaction between them is still a little overwhelming—not the affection itself but the way Zari’s body  _ reacts _ to it. Every time Amaya touches her, Zari feels parts of her body alight in response. She knows, logically, that reaction is normal—her feelings for Amaya have done nothing but grow as they’ve spent more time together—but it’s been a long time since this much serotonin has coursed through her system and she’s still learning how to handle herself.

But now, with Amaya’s lips at her neck and her hands wandering from Zari’s elbows to the exposed skin of her waist, Zari’s body feels like it wants to be handled itself. “How do you feel now?” Amaya asks, fingertips tracing the line of Zari’s slip until her arms wrap around Zari’s waist to hug her loosely.

“Nice.” Zari’s voice feels caught in her throat and she closes her eyes, hums as Amaya kisses up her neck again. The exhaustion in her body still feels like a weight, pressing down on her muscles, on the length of her spine but beneath it all there’s a blooming heat low in her belly.

Amaya begins to spin her, continues until they’re facing each other again then she’s leaning forward for a kiss. It’s a little softer than Zari expected but it still hits Zari where it counts and this time she hears Amaya hum against her mouth, feels Amaya smile as she breaks the kiss to start another. Two kisses become three and three becomes something on the order of ten and then Nate is in Zari’s ear, whining over the group channel in the way he does when he needs help.

“Amaya, it’s our turn for dinner, can you come to the kitchen?”

Amaya breaks their kiss long enough to reply, her mouth still hovering over Zari’s, “be there in five minutes.”

“He’s the worst,” Zari huffs as Amaya pulls back from her to start undressing. She makes quick work of her outfit, moves to stand in front of Zari’s dresser when she’s down to her underwear. Rifling for a couple of seconds rewards her with a pair of sweats and a t-shirt, both of which might actually belong to Amaya despite their location. Zari watches Amaya pop the clasp on her bra, traces the clean lines of her back for a handful of seconds before she feels herself become flustered. She turns before Amaya can shirk her underwear, keeps her attention on the bunk door until Amaya appears in front of her again. She’s added one of Zari’s flannels to her outfit, the one Zari had planned to put on herself but before Zari can protest she’s pecking Zari on the cheek.

“Dinner in a half hour.”

“Yeah, okay, fine.” Zari mumbles as Amaya flies out the door, leaving Zari and her old timey underwear to decompress and find another flannel.

 

\---

 

Dinner isn’t the full crew but it is busier than Zari wants it to be. Wally, Nate  _ and _ Ray crowd around the table, laughing amongst themselves and watching in awe as Wally consumes his weight in calories, possibly more. Zari has only seen Wally eat twice now and each time she’s amazed at how much food that boy can pack in in one sitting. Ray offers to do the dishes once they’re all finished, much to everyone’s delight so Zari stands, ready for Amaya to come back to the bunk with her. But, apparently, Amaya has other plans.

“Go ahead without me, I’ve got something to show Nathaniel.” She says, obviously eyeing his ass as he walks out of the kitchen with Wally.

Zari gets a flashback to a Gideon Groundhog Day memory and feels a shiver of nausea shake her body. “Ew,” Zari says softly.

Amaya shakes her head, quickly assures Zari: “No, not that.”

But she doesn’t expand on her plan, simply squeezes Zari’s forearm gently before following off after Nate. Zari sighs, tries to focus on something a little less nauseating. It’s early enough in the evening that she could play a few hours of video games if she wanted, maybe run a couple scenarios with Gideon but now that her belly is full all she wants to do is sleep. 

She moves through her evening routine on auto-pilot and by the time Amaya returns to her bunk Zari’s already finished in the bathroom, changed into her pajamas and set up in bed with her tablet. Amaya’s still got Zari’s flannel on but it’s open now, billowing out as she steps into the room and she looks fresh-faced, like Zari had maybe missed her by just a few minutes in the bathroom.

She  _ also _ looks positively pleased with herself and Zari feels a curious itch in her throat, a question: “What did you do?”

“I made Nathaniel a playlist,” is all she says but there’s too much amusement in her smile for Zari to believe that’s all that happened. The urge to press is there but Zari tries not to talk about Nate with Amaya if she can help it. Zari still hasn’t gotten a handle on whatever it is the the three of them are—she has the words to name it, she looked them up, but the whole “my girlfriend also has a boyfriend and he’s kind of like my annoying brother” thing still sits weird in her chest. It’s not that she dislikes Nate, he’s a great guy, she just knows that the less  _ she _ knows about what Amaya and Nate do together, the happier she is. Fortunately, Amaya doesn’t seem to mind that Zari doesn’t ask about Nate and that’s the real gift there.

Amaya climbs over Zari in bed, lingering just long enough over top of her for a quick kiss before toppling over in a loud thump. She lays atop the covers for a long moment, eyes closed as she breathes out and Zari traces the line of her profile. Her eyelashes flutter a little before she opens her eyes again and Zari gets a soft, warm feeling in the pit of her stomach as Amaya smiles up at her.

“Put that away,” she says quietly, tapping at the underside of Zari’s tablet. 

Too tired to argue, Zari retires her tablet to the floor as Amaya reaches over to switch off the lights. Once Amaya’s lying down again Zari wriggles down the mattress until they’re eye level then lies on her side. She looks in Amaya’s direction as her eyes adjust to the darkness, waits until she can see the gentle slope of Amaya’s nose and the curve of her smile before whispering, “Hi.”

“Hi,” Amaya whispers back before shuffling closer and putting a hand on Zari’s hip. Zari knows this request well after weeks of Amaya in her bed. She turns to lie on her back and the hand at Zari’s hip becomes an arm across her stomach and Amaya’s breath warm on her shoulder.

“I wasn’t mad,” Zari feels herself say. She hadn’t been turning Amaya’s thoughts over in her head or anything but being back in her bunk together, Zari’s mind hops back to their last conversation. It’s just—sharing Amaya is sometimes harder than Zari thinks it should be; harder especially when Zari’s feelings are stronger than what she’s used to.

“I know,” Amaya says, kissing Zari’s shoulder, “you were jealous.”

There’s a teasing tone to her voice, she’s baiting Zari and it works like a charm. “As if I could ever be jealous of that man-child.”

“Hey,” Amaya says quickly, squeezing at Zari’s hip in reprimand.

“Not jealous,” Zari insists again.

“But you did miss me.” It’s a statement, one that Zari thinks is glaringly obvious but still Amaya wants confirmation.

“Yeah,” Zari answers, turning her head to look at Amaya again, “I did.”

Amaya kisses her shoulder, “Next time, I promise we’ll stick together.”

“Oh yeah?”

“Yes,” Amaya says definitively before leaning up to kiss Zari. The pressure is just right, firm but soft enough to also be a promise and Zari feels the balls of her feet begin to tingle. It’s also the kind of kiss that is usually the precursor to  _ more _ kissing, but instead of more Amaya lies back down and snuggles against Zari’s side again. “Goodnight.”

“G’night,” Zari mumbles after a few seconds pause. For a moment, brief and warm in the bottom of her stomach, she thinks that kiss might have woken her a little too much but once the silence of the room extends, Zari feels her body start to relax again and soon she finds herself drifting off.

_ Zari distinctly remembers leaving the graveyard back in Memphis but when she steps out of the Waverider’s bathroom she’s met with damp earth and mist, weaving between headstones dirty with years of wear. She’s barefoot, feels mud squishing between her toes as she puts a hand to the wall to keep herself upright. Navigating the headstones is tricky but with a few well-placed steps and something that feels like levitation at one point, Zari manages to get to the door of her bunk. There’s movement behind her and she turns just in time to see Ray shutting himself in the bathroom again. _

_ “It’s your turn to clean the gravestones,” she hears herself yell but she doesn’t know if Ray heard her. Can’t remember if the gravestones were even on the chore wheel to begin with. Her feet are clean once she gets into her bunk and Amaya’s already there, tucked into bed and smiling at her. _

_ “Did you see the gravestones?” _

_ Amaya says something that Zari doesn’t quite catch, finds herself shifted to the bedside with one single step as Amaya repeats herself. “Don’t worry about them, just get in here.” _

_ She curls around Zari as she climbs into bed, hand snaking under Zari’s top as she kisses at the line of Zari’s jaw. Zari’s already got a hand on Amaya’s hip as Amaya moves to kiss her sweet and sound and full. The hand under Zari’s top skirts higher, up and up until Amaya’s got one of Zari’s breasts in hand and Zari feels the action as a surge of warmth. Kisses harder at Amaya’s mouth, licks in then sucks at Amaya’s bottom lip as Amaya shifts against her _ —

Zari wakes with a start but her movements are restricted. Amaya is still clinging to her side but she’s deep in the heavy weight of sleep, completely unaware of Zari’s sudden rise. The clock on the monitor across from the bed beams 1:08AM in blue letters and where normally Zari would feel relief at hours more of sleep to come, she feels only a small stir of dread. If she goes back to sleep there’s a chance she might stumble back into her dream, into the press of Amaya’s mouth, of Amaya’s hands warm on her ribcage.

But maybe it isn’t dread that shifts in her gut. The more she thinks about Amaya’s mouth the warmer she feels, a familiar warmth, but in the way something might be if you’d dug it out of your garage after years of disuse. A warmth that feels like the exercise bike you used twice when you were 21 then tucked away again because it just didn’t fit your body the way you thought it would.

Zari thinks there’s something there, something she needs to unpack but her mind is still half-asleep, unprepared for whatever her dream wants her to unravel and within minutes, Zari finds herself slipping back into sleep.

 

\---

 

Despite Gideon’s insistences that the scenario predicting algorithm is done, Zari still finds herself poking at it night after night. She’s tucked herself into the lab this time, a wall of monitors glowing blue with code as she sits at a lab table and taps at her tablet. She’s close to being done, maybe a day or two of tweaking more before she can finally settle into something else. The algorithm is actually fit to run—has been run a few times on smaller scenarios—but Zari needs it to work big picture, to work for 2042.

“Hey.”

Amaya’s standing in the doorway, cradling a mug of tea and leaning against the doorframe in a picture that Zari finds familiar now after weeks of late nights on the Waverider. She’s always been more of a night owl and despite the ship’s peculiar internal time cycle, Zari still finds herself staying up late much to Amaya’s dismay.

“I’m almost done,” Zari turns back to her screens, squints at the top row.

“You said that an hour ago.”

“Oh,” Zari says quietly, looking back to Amaya, “it’s already been an hour?”

“It  _ has _ .” The tone of Amaya’s voice is almost accusatory but there’s still a softness to it, like despite being upset, she finds it charming that Zari’s apparently lost an hour of time to her work. She crosses the lab in a few steps, sweeps in to kiss Zari soundly, the way she does when she wants to shake Zari free of something. Zari feels herself slip for a second, a fluttering starting beneath her ribcage as Amaya spins her chair around to get a second kiss in.

“Just—maybe an hour more,” Zari promises, eyes still closed, as Amaya pulls back.

“An hour,” Amaya repeats.

The fluttering in Zari’s chest is strong but not enough to stop her from turning back to her tablet before Amaya’s even stepped out of the lab. She zeroes in on a section of code, expanding it and scanning the lines on her tablet before flicking the window to a monitor in front of her. 

_ She loses more time after that, finds herself so fully sunk into her coding that she doesn’t even hear Amaya approach her again. Amaya brushes the hair from Zari’s neck, leans down to kiss her nape and Zari mumbles: “I’m almost done.” _

_ “You’re working too hard.” _

_ But that’s not Amaya’s voice, it’s  _ Gideon’s. _ Zari sets her tablet down and spins around in her chair to find Gideon standing in front of her. She’s in all black, hair down and hands already moving to Zari’s shoulders. _

_ “You deserve a break,” she says before taking a step further and straddling Zari’s lap. Gideon is kissing her before Zari can protest and of course she’s a good kisser, why wouldn’t she be? She threads her hands in Zari’s hair, scoots higher up on Zari’s lap as Zari grabs at her hips and starts to kiss down her neck. _

_ Beneath her mouth, Gideon’s skin begins to glow. A stream of blue 0’s and 1’s flitting across the line of Gideon’s neck and shoulder and Zari feels something lurch in her stomach _ — _ guilt maybe, confusion. She shouldn’t be making out with Gideon because Gideon isn’t  _ real _ but more importantly she’s not Amaya. _

_ Then, just like that, it’s Amaya sitting in Zari’s lap, smiling down at her as she starts unbuttoning Zari’s flannel. Zari blinks, sees the room shift and suddenly they’re back in her bunk and Zari’s shirt is completely gone as Amaya mouths down her bare chest. Zari feels heat between her legs, a wanting that presses and surges as Amaya flicks a tongue over her nipple and _ —

There’s pressure on her shoulder again, a mouth, kissing at the crown of it. Zari opens her eyes, finds her vision blurred, half blocked by her forearm as she shifts her head.

“Hey,” Amaya’s voice is a whisper in her ear, quiet as she smoothes a hand down Zari’s forearm.

Zari rouses slowly, blinking sleep from her eyes as she shifts upright. “I fell asleep,” she says, mostly to herself but she hears Amaya chuckle.

“Come on, let’s get you to bed.”

Zari lets Amaya help her to her feet, grabs her tablet before they move too far away from the table. She leans against Amaya’s side and Amaya hooks an arm around Zari’s back, helps guide her through the lab and down the hall back to Zari’s bunk.

Despite the dull heat between her legs Zari’s mind is still half-asleep and she quickly shucks both her pants and flannel clean off as she shuffles towards the bed. Amaya crawls up before her, pulling back the covers for Zari to climb in after and once Zari is up and reclined Amaya wastes no time pressing herself against Zari’s side. Zari adjusts to fit her a little better, lets Amaya tuck up under her arm but as she gets settled Amaya leans over to press a kiss to the top of Zari’s breast. 

Zari sees a flash of Amaya’s mouth on her chest, feels a blush start to creep up her neck because even if the memory itself isn’t fully-formed the warmth between Zari’s legs is. But there is no intention with the placement of that kiss, it seems only to serve as a quiet goodnight as Amaya whispers it too, “Goodnight.”

Amaya shifts closer, her bare leg draping itself over Zari’s own and the skin contact sends a ripple of energy up Zari’s spine. Her hips shift down into the mattress in response but Amaya doesn’t seem to notice that or the choked sound of Zari’s response: “Goodnight.”

Zari’s awake enough to recognize the heat between her legs now, can name it exactly for what it is. Amaya’s affinity for physical affection has awoken more than just Zari’s tingly outer layer, something deeper, more primal has started to emerge too. Zari isn’t unfamiliar with that part of herself. Her sexual appetite might not be as healthy as Amaya’s but it does exist—if only in fits and bursts before—and it seems to be growing at a rate Zari wasn’t prepared for.

But as the quiet settles in the room again, Zari’s body starts to settle too. There will be time to think of these things tomorrow. Time enough to sort through what all these feelings might mean for their relationship or at least time enough for Zari to figure out how many cold showers she can get away with without someone noticing.

She focuses on the steady rhythm of Amaya’s breathing, hopes that the wild pounding of her heart will quiet and let her sleep.

 

\---

 

Somehow, despite the impending big boss fight with Mallus, Gideon’s anachronism detection system has been spitting out nothing but two’s and three’s for two whole days. While they are  _ important _ , Sara doesn’t find any of them pressing—or at least more pressing than her spending some alone time with Ava—so the crew gets a day off.

It’s the first time in weeks Zari’s had more than a few hours of free time and she thinks she ought to do something fun to celebrate. Maybe spend the day eating junk food and playing video games or testing the limits of the food fabricator but instead she finds herself in the engine room running diagnostics on the Waverider with Gideon. She’s been putting off as much direct contact with Gideon as she can manage after her last charged dream but it’s been long enough, she thinks. As long as Gideon doesn’t say anything too overtly sexual, Zari should finally be able to talk to her for more than three minutes without squirming.

And fortunately, the whole check runs as smoothly as Zari’s ever seen. Gideon is happy to help and not particularly chatty, plus the Waverider is in great shape.

“All systems are performing well within optimal efficiency, Ms. Tomaz.”

“Thanks, Gideon.” Zari instinctively looks up at the ceiling then back down to her tablet when she remembers there’s nothing to be looking at. That habit doesn’t seem to be something she can break.

“You were especially thorough with your systems check today, were you looking for anything specifically?”

Zari flicks through a few windows on her tablet, closing a handful, “No, just want to be prepared.”

“Your care is greatly appreciated but you deserve a break. It is your day off, after all.”

Something short-circuits in Zari’s system as a flash of Gideon straddling her lap lurches to the front of her mind. “Yeah—no, yeah,” Zari says after a moment, her mouth suddenly dry. The rest of her reply kind of peters off as she shuffles her way out of the engine room, keen to get as far away from Gideon as she can manage.

Zari’s shuffling is blind, her eyes on her tablet so she doesn’t realize Amaya’s in the hall until they collide. “I’ve been looking for you.”

“Looking—,” Zari repeats before Amaya’s hands find her hips and squeeze gently, “oh, hi.”

“ _ Hi _ ,” Amaya repeats, smiling as she turns Zari to face her a little better, “you wanna come help me prune the herb garden?”

“I thought picking the herbs was pruning?”

Amaya chuckles, squeezing Zari’s hips again before stepping back to put some space between them. “Come on,” she reaches out to grab Zari’s hand, tugging her along down the hall.

Pruning the herb garden isn’t really a two-person job. Tucked into the corner of the kitchen, the space in front of it is only wide enough to fit one person so Zari and Amaya are hip to hip and shoulder to shoulder as they pick off unwanted flowers and dying leaves. Twenty minutes in, Zari’s fingers smell like basil and her back is starting to hurt so she stands upright, a hand to her lower back as it twinges a little.

Amaya’s crouched below her, tending to the bottom level and she looks up as Zari begins to rub at sore muscle. “How do you feel about a cat nap?”

“You don’t nap,” Zari retorts, eyebrow gently cocked.

“No,” Amaya stands, close enough to Zari that she can lean a little into her side, “but  _ you _ do.”

Zari definitely naps. In fact, she  _ loves _ naps. There something so wonderful about shutting down for a half hour in the middle of the day, especially when you don’t really need it. But lately, every time Zari shuts her eyes, she’s a little nervous about what her unconscious mind might whip up for her. The dreams aren’t unwelcome but they have been progressing at a pace that Zari wasn’t expecting. But, Zari’s mind has already locked in on the idea of a nap, now that she’s thought about it it’s really the only valid option as her next move.

“I really do,” Zari finally answers and Amaya smiles, bright and mirthful.

 

\---

 

Zari slams face first into her mattress as soon as she gets near enough. She hears a couple pillows fall off as she bounces and then Amaya giggle as she walks around Zari’s outstretched legs to remove a couple more pillows.

Luckily, Zari’s wearing her sneakers so she can easily kick them free without sitting back up but she does have to lift her torso up a little to peel off her flannel and chuck it on the floor. While she’s slightly upright she spots Amaya removing her boots and plucking Zari’s shirt from the floor to lay on the chair close by.

“You don’t need to do that,” Zari says as she lays back down, head resting on maybe one more pillow than necessary. She pulls a pillow to her front, hugs it against her chest.

“Just because you don’t mind the mess doesn’t mean I do.” Amaya starts tugging her sweater up over her head and Zari feels something warm tickle low in her belly as the tank top below it starts to ride up.

“It’s my room though.”

“And I sleep here,” Amaya answers, folding her sweater.

“Yeah, yeah, whatever,” Zari mumbles as she tucks her face into the pillow clutched against her. Her eyes are already starting to get heavy and as Amaya crawls up onto the bed and cuddles against her back, Zari yawns.

Zari feels pressure at the back of her shoulder, a kiss from Amaya that leaves her mouth close and her voice quiet: “I’ll wake you up in a half hour.”

_ The soil beneath her hands is damp; she can’t see them but she can feel moisture, the soft give of the ground as she leans forward. Ahead of her, Zari sees the sharp green of a garden but the plants are wild, taller than Zari remembers them. She’s on her knees at the outside edge, digging at weeds and she feels sweat on her brow, reaches up to wipe at it. _

_ “You’re a mess.” Amaya’s beside her then, blocking the sun as Zari looks up at her. She’s smiling as she leans down to brush her fingers softly against Zari’s forehead. “Let’s get you cleaned up.” _

_ The time it takes to get back to the ship feels like the blink of an eye and as Zari walks into the bathroom the shower stall closest to her is already running, a warm steam filling the room. She begins to disrobe, leaving a trail of clothes in her wake as she approaches the shower and once she’s under it she feels warm, calm. _

_ The water sluices down her back and Zari reaches up to run her hands through her hair, combing through to help the water get to all of it. There’s movement behind her, then pressure at her back but Zari doesn’t startle, instead she turns around, watches as Amaya smiles up at her before leaning forward for a kiss. She’s slick beneath Zari’s hands, inches of bare skin ready to be touched as Zari sucks at Amaya’s bottom lip, as Amaya presses up against the length of Zari’s torso. _

_ Zari’s hands slide to the small of Amaya’s back, pulling her close as Amaya starts to kiss down her neck. She kisses lower, clavicle to the curve of Zari’s breast to her sternum and then she’s kissing lower,  _ kneeling _ , and Zari feels a hand on her thigh then pressure between her legs, hot and fast and _ —

She’s sweating.

She’s definitely sweating and there’s something under her shirt.  _ Amaya’s hand  _ is under her shirt and normally this wouldn’t be a problem but Zari’s body is burning and if she doesn’t get out of this bed soon she thinks she might actually combust.

Behind her she hears rhythmic breathing, the tempo and quiet warmth of it familiar as Amaya sleeping. Zari hopes that will make her departure easier but, as soon as she shifts, Amaya rouses. The hand on Zari’s stomach scratches gently at the space under her ribs as Amaya pushes closer to Zari’s back. “You awake?”

The heat skimming across Zari’s skin starts to focus as Amaya cuddles closer, honing in low in Zari’s belly. “Yeah,” Zari says quietly. She starts to move before she can think about it too much, shifting her legs off the bed in an effort to sit up and Amaya doesn’t stop her but Zari does feel her sit up.

“What’s wrong?”

“Nothing,” Zari says quickly but her voice flutters a little and Amaya reaches out to grab at her wrist before she can stand.

“Zari,” her voice is soft, sincere like it is when she thinks Zari’s had a bad dream. Because as wonderful as Zari’s dreams sometimes are, there are nightmares too and Amaya has seen what they do to her, what she’s like afterwards. Zari imagines the sweat on her brow and her nervous nature might be misconstrued as such so she tries to level her voice, turns to Amaya with a smile.

“I just have to pee.” Amaya only holds her wrist for a second more, Zari’s answer perhaps just enough to appease her questioning. Once she’s free Zari scurries out into the hall in socked feet, palms damp and a lingering heat between her legs.

 

\---

 

It only takes Amaya a half hour to find her again. It’s not like she was hiding, she was just actively avoiding any place she thought Amaya might look for her but there are only so many rooms on the ship. Plus, Zari can really only go so many hours without eating.

“There you are,” Amaya says from the doorway.

Zari’s face first in a sandwich of Mick’s design but with the appropriate meat substitutions. Mick says it’s a misrepresentation of his culinary expertise, Zari just thinks it’s delicious. “Hey.”

“Where’d you disappear to?”

“Didn’t disappear,” Zari starts around a mouthful of sandwich before swallowing, “I was here.”

“Not when I checked twenty minutes ago.” Amaya’s close enough that she can reach out and tuck a strand of hair behind Zari’s ear.

Unintentionally, Zari starts at the touch. Her body jerking ever so slightly away as Amaya’s fingers make contact with the skin of her temple. “I was in the engine room twenty minutes ago,” Zari lies, hoping that a quick answer will distract Amaya from her reaction, but it doesn’t.

“You’re sure you didn’t—”

“No,” Zari nearly bites her own tongue she speaks so fast, “no, I didn’t.” But Zari knows more denial is all the proof Amaya needs to know that Zari is lying.

Lying to Amaya is different than lying to literally any other person Zari has ever met. Lying to Amaya feels like pin pricks along Zari’s spine, sharp and painful, but  _ technically _ she isn’t lying about what Amaya  _ thinks _ she’s lying about. In fact, Zari is telling the truth. She didn’t have a nightmare, far from it. As prickly as it all feels, Zari thinks that letting Amaya believe she had a nightmare and is lying about it is infinitely easier than telling her what her dreams have really been about. Especially when Zari herself still isn’t entirely sure what to do with the feelings those dreams have drummed up.

Amaya looks on the edge of a reply but then her head turns slightly, gaze settling on the floor in a move Zari recognizes. “Ray needs me in the lab, if you need me—,” she starts.

“I’ll come find you,” Zari finishes for her and Amaya gives her a soft smile. It doesn’t quite crinkle at her eyes like it usually does and Zari feels something cold settle in her stomach as Amaya disappears out the door.

 

\---

 

Sequestering herself in her room seems like the best course of action. She’s too in her head to do much of anything else. Losing a round of Mario Kart to Wally had been the final straw to send her back to the solace of her bunk, her disappointment at the loss shadowed by the uncomfortable knots in her stomach.

But once she’s back in her room, back on her bed all she can think of is her latest dream. The details are starting to fade a little but the important stuff is still there. Wet skin and Amaya’s mouth and Amaya’s  _ hand _ and—Zari hasn’t had an actual, real life, tingly where it counts sex dream in years. She doesn’t think she’s ever had one that vivid before either but that’s not surprising. Amaya has been opening up a lot of new doors for Zari emotionally, of course one of those doors was bound to lead somewhere else too.

The door to her bunk whooshes open with Amaya behind it, her hair has been pinned back a little since Zari saw her last which means there’s a high chance she did actual science in the lab with Ray. “So, what did Ray want?”

“He made some adjustments to the totem boxes.” She’s already kicking off her shoes, finishes her answer once she’s on the bed next to Zari, “he wanted me to help test them.”

“Test them?”

Amaya shakes her head, chuckles softly, “I think he and Nate are having a fight, I was his second choice to help.”

“Ah,” Zari nods, looks down to the flats of her thighs, to her hands atop them.

“So, you ready to tell me yet?”

The beat of Zari’s heart ticks up slightly. “Tell you what?”

“Why—,” Amaya starts before reaching out to place a hand on Zari’s forearm. Once again, Zari jolts a little at the touch, a kind of warm static emanating from Amaya that gives Zari a flash of wet skin. “—you keep flinching when I touch you.”

“It’s nothing.”

“Zari.”

“It’s—you know I just,” Zari wants to tell her, the knots in her stomach really aren’t worth it anymore, but when she opens her mouth that’s not what happens: “I had a dream that you had tentacles for arms.”

She says it fast, maybe too fast because Amaya’s looking at her like maybe she didn’t hear what Zari said. Her eyes narrow as the silent space between them lengthens, then Amaya’s thumb starts to slowly stroke the soft skin near the crook of Zari’s elbow. Amaya’s eyes soften a little then, her face open and curious, a wanting that is too sincere for Zari to deny any longer.

“Fine. There weren’t any tentacles. I um—I had,” Zari’s tongue suddenly feels heavy, her mouth dry and it takes her another couple seconds to say it but eventually, in a rush she expels: “I had another sex dream about you.”

Amaya’s reply is almost instant, “Another?”

There’s heat at Zari’s neck, burning up into her cheeks and she’s still looking down at her thighs, wishes she could hide her face from Amaya entirely. “Yeah, um, there have been a few.”

“A few?”

Zari looks up then, finds the curiosity in Amaya’s eyes has shifted into something more like amusement. Honestly, she kind of looks like she’s beaming with  _ excitement _ and shit, of course she is. Anyone would be excited their girlfriend is having sex dreams about them, but especially Amaya, considering her proclivities and Zari’s historical lack of inclination for them.

“Did you like them?” Zari refocuses on Amaya’s face, finds her features a little softer, more contemplative. The tone of her voice has even shifted too, there’s more concern there, like it’s finally occurred to her that perhaps the reason Zari has been acting so weird is that the dreams are making her uncomfortable.

“No—I mean yeah, they were nice.” Nice doesn’t feel like the right word but Zari doesn’t know how to accurately portray how the dreams have made her feel. She supposes “horny” would work but she doesn’t know how she feelings about saying that word to Amaya.

“Do you want to tell me about them?”

“No,” Zari says quickly. Even thinking about them again has her starting to heat up a little. The nervous energy in her stomach is starting to morph the longer she looks at the Amaya, warming and moving to settle lower between her legs.

Amaya looks like she wants to ask something else but also like she’s choosing her words carefully. This is the one topic that Zari, herself, knows she spooks easily on. They haven’t had the chance to really discuss Zari’s sexual history but Amaya knows that Zari isn’t like any other partners she’s had before. And so far, Amaya’s been fine with that. She isn’t coddling Zari but she is staying within the bounds of Zari’s comfort zone and Zari has nothing but respect for how Amaya’s been treating her.

But she knows that Amaya’s got a healthy sexual appetite. Hell, she knows that most of the time Amaya’s with Nate they’re having sex and Zari has never had a problem with that. Amaya has needs and Nate has no problem taking care of them for her but apparently Zari has needs now too and she’s not sure how to go about expanding boundaries that have already been set.

“Do you think you’d like to have sex with me?” Amaya asks after a long moment’s pause. It’s such an honest question that Zari’s taken a little off-guard but she still answers almost immediately:

“Yeah, yes.”

The smile on Amaya’s face might be the prettiest Zari’s ever seen but she only sees it for a moment before Amaya’s leaning in to kiss her. It’s a short one, the kind Amaya usually gives as a thank you but as soon as she’s pulling away Zari finds herself leaning forward for more, for another. Amaya doesn’t deny her, kisses back and hums as Zari captures her bottom lip and sneaks a fistful of Amaya’s shirt in one hand to keep her close.

Nerves rattle in Zari’s stomach still but they’re only remnants of what was there before. Now that Zari’s agreed, now that she’s said what she wants aloud her body is nothing but heat and wanting. Amaya’s mouth is pliant, opening when Zari wants it to, moving to match each kiss that Zari wants to give it, wants to give Amaya but after a string of kisses Amaya is pulling back. The hand on Zari’s forearm is still there, thumb rubbing at soft skin and Zari feels her heartbeat hammering in her ears as Amaya says:

“We don’t have to—right now, I mean, we can wait.”

“I can’t,” Zari hears herself say because it’s true. She’s committed and she needs to follow through before she loses the nerve but, more importantly, she thinks that if she stopped now her body would never forgive her.

For a moment, it looks like Amaya might want to laugh but then the mirth is gone from her eyes and is replaced with something a little more predatory and Zari feels a new flood rush between her legs. When they start to kiss again something feels different. There’s a charge in the room that wasn’t there before, like now that Amaya’s intentions have shifted to align with Zari’s completely the air feels thicker, hotter.

A hand appears at Zari’s neck, fingers sliding back to sink into the messy bottom of her knotted bun. Amaya holds Zari in place as she swipes a tongue against her bottom lip before slipping it further, licking into Zari’s mouth and pulling a sweet, hungry sound from the back of her throat. The volume is what surprises Zari, it’s  _ loud _ in a way that Zari didn’t mean it to be but it makes Amaya rearrange to kiss her again. A shift in movement accompanies the kiss, the hand at Zari’s forearm slipping to the hem of her shirt then deftly under and Zari finds herself slowly lying back as Amaya leans forward.

Getting them comfortably horizontal means Zari has to chuck pillows to the ground as she goes. Amaya had apparently made her bed after their nap, giant pile of pillows and all, which normally Zari would find sweet but now finds irrationally annoying. One last pillow gets flung free and then Zari’s got her back to the mattress and Amaya half on top of her, moving until she’s draped against Zari’s side.

The hand underneath Zari’s sweater is dancing up her ribs now and Zari’s skin alights with electricity at every point it hits. Amaya is kissing at Zari’s neck when her hand finally crests the curve of Zari’s breast and she sucks at Zari’s pulse point as she flicks a thumb against Zari’s nipple. The action sends a jolt straight between Zari’s legs and her hips shift in response, seeking the pressure of Amaya’s thigh as it slides higher.

“ _ Fuck _ ,” Zari sputters, one hand fisted in a blanket and the other in the fabric of Amaya’s sweater.

She feels Amaya smile against her neck then she’s palming at Zari’s breast, hand constricting, squeezing in a way that drags the hard peak of Zari’s nipple against the inside of her bra cup and again Zari’s hips react. The heat between her legs is a raging, wanting thing already and as Amaya lifts her thigh a little higher to finally connect Zari finds herself grinding down against it. She spits out another, “ _ Fuck _ .”

And this time Amaya answers it: “You’re sure?”

Zari isn’t sure what she’s asking. Her mind is racing, reaching for coherent thought only to be stopped by the warmth of Amaya’s mouth against her clavicle and the press of fingers against the curve of her breast. She isn’t sure what Amaya’s asking but her body is screaming for her to answer so she says, “Yes.”

As it turns out, the question Amaya was asking has everything to do with the heat between Zari’s legs because as soon as she gets an affirmative the hand at Zari’s breast starts moving down. It’s a relatively quick journey but it pauses at the top of Zari’s pants where Amaya begins to undo her button and zipper. Once there’s space for her to move Amaya wastes no time, her hand dipping beneath Zari’s jeans and the fabric of her underwear.

First contact sends shivers down Zari’s spine.

As Amaya’s fingers start to part her outer lips Zari becomes fully aware of how  _ wet _ she is. There’s no friction at all, just the slip slide of Amaya’s fingers and Zari thinks she might cry it feels so good. It’s been years since Zari’s clit has been touched by another person—months since Zari herself has touched it too—and as soon as Amaya finds it and settles, Zari cries out, unable to hold back any of her reactions now.

The heat low in her belly, the heat pooling between her legs is starting to focus again as Amaya strokes at her. She works in gentle circles at first, works over the hood of Zari’s clit and Zari’s almost thankful for the protection of it. She’s so worked up that she’s convinced direct contact might literally vaporize her. Every fourth or fifth circle Amaya strokes the length of Zari, down once to her opening to press in gently before stroking back up and the pattern is making Zari insane with desire.

“Faster,” Zari says into Amaya’s hair and she feels Amaya smile against her skin again.

She presses a kiss to Zari’s clavicle before the circles speed up and stay put and just like that Zari feels her orgasm spilling into and out of her. Muscles across her whole body tense and tense and tense and then she sees white, feels Amaya kissing at her neck and hears her whispering:

“Thank you.”

She’s still touching Zari’s clit, gently coaxing out the lingering edges of Zari’s orgasm. It takes all of Zari’s strength to lift a hand to grab Amaya’s wrist, to  _ stop her  _ from touching her anymore because Zari’s sensitivity has suddenly skyrocketed.

“Stop,” Zari breathes out, “you’re gonna kill me.”

Amaya seems to be laughing but Zari can barely hear it over the pounding of her own heartbeat in her ears. She hasn’t been sexual with many people in her life, hasn’t actually been sexual with herself all that much either, and she knows for a fact that she has never come like that before. Finding her way back into her body takes a couple of quiet minutes after that. Her limbs feel heavy and her heart is still racing but Amaya is nuzzling into her neck and squeezing her hip and that helps bring her back down.

“That was great.”

“Better than your dreams?”

Zari sighs audibly, “So much better.”

“Good,” Amaya hums against Zari’s pulse point before she kisses it then chains a row of kisses up Zari’s neck and jaw until she can kiss her properly. Zari releases the blanket bunched in her fist and reaches over to set a hand on Amaya’s side, tugging her closer. As soon as she does, Amaya shifts into her touch. It’s not a readjustment, her body  _ pushes _ into Zari’s hand where it lands, seeking contact, and it’s then Zari remembers what they’re doing is a two-way street.

There’s not doubt in Zari’s mind that she wants to make Amaya feel good too, to thank her for what she’s done but Zari’s not sure she’s up for anything more than what Amaya did for her. Her limbs are slowly starting to lighten again and as Amaya kisses her Zari holds her a little tighter, sucks at her bottom lip.

They makeout for long minutes, languorous and slow, until somehow they shift places. Zari finds that as her body reaches equilibrium again she becomes more aware of how Amaya’s reacting to her. She keeps pushing into Zari’s hands, a silent request for more pressure, more  _ friction _ and once she’s on her back her silent requests start to become more vocal. Breathing between kisses is hot and labored and each kiss, each movement of Zari’s hand against her torso pulls all sorts of delicious noises from her. The flat plane of her stomach is warm under Zari’s hand and between kisses she glances down to look at it, feels the sudden urge to put her mouth to space next to Amaya’s belly button.

Belly button becomes ribs becomes sternum, Zari’s mouth moving  higher and higher until Amaya’s shirt is rucked up against her armpits. This isn’t what she’d planned but she’s got a feeling about Amaya’s breasts, a theory that she wants to test out. She tugs Amaya’s shirt a little higher, tugs down the thin fabric of her bralette and as soon as her mouth connects with skin her theory is proven: Amaya moans so deeply that Zari feels her own cunt clench.

Amaya’s breasts aren’t especially full but that’s why Zari thinks they’re so sensitive. As she works her tongue over Amaya’s nipples, teasing and sucking, Amaya’s hips begin to thrust against her. What starts as gentle bucking becomes fevered, an almost constant state of movement as Zari kisses from breast to breast, her mouth memorizing the skin of Amaya’s chest. It’s that movement, coupled with the glorious moans Amaya is making, that gives Zari a boost in confidence. If she can make Amaya do this just by mouthing at her breasts, Zari wonders what might happen if she were to go down on her.

Zari starts to make the move before she can second guess herself. She kisses down Amaya’s stomach again and Amaya’s hips still. Amaya herself goes quiet and as Zari reaches the waistband of Amaya’s pants, Amaya looks down at her. “Are you sure?”

There’s so much concern in her eyes, just like there was before they’d even started, like she wants to make sure Zari isn’t getting in over her head. But that look just solidifies Zari’s choice. She kisses at Amaya’s hip, whispers, “Definitely.”

Amaya helps Zari remove her pants, wriggles them off her own hips and as Zari tugs them down Amaya rids herself of her shirt and her bra too. Clothed, Amaya is beautiful but naked? Zari doesn’t think she’s ever seen anything so magnificent. Her skin is smooth where Zari touches it, but there are weird, misshapen indents pressed into it from her clothing too and Zari wants very badly to kiss every one of them. But as she lies down on her stomach between Amaya’s legs, Amaya parts her thighs a little wider and Zari sees how wet she is, knows her mouth only has one true destination.

As with everything they’ve done tonight, it’s been years since Zari was this close to a vulva not her own. She’s starting to get nervous again but it’s performance jitters this time because Zari doesn’t remember if she was ever good at this. She sees the muscles of Amaya’s stomach tense for a second and when Zari looks up at her there is such open need in Amaya’s eyes that Zari knows, even if she is no good, that Amaya is going to appreciate whatever effort she puts in.

Zari lets her hands slide around the outside of Amaya’s thighs, to the gentle curve of her hips as she moves closer. The smell of Amaya’s arousal is almost intoxicating and as much as she does want to dive straight in there are so many possible places to start. She buys herself some time by kissing up the inside of Amaya’s thigh, a string of slow, delicate movements that has Amaya whimpering above her. The last kiss she plants has her nose grazing Amaya’s outer labia and the sound Amaya makes at the contact makes Zari’s mind up for her.

She licks into Amaya’s folds with the tip of her tongue, slides it up until she hits Amaya’s clit and immediately Amaya’s hips lift in an effort to get Zari to  _ do more _ . Zari moves one hand overtop the gentle protrusion of Amaya’s hipbone, presses down as Amaya’s lifts up. It’s not as polite as Amaya usually asks for things but Zari forgives her, rewards her for her patience by flicking the tip of her tongue across Amaya’s clit. Amaya’s reply is stuttered gasp and it’s music to Zari’s ears.

After that, it’s all about exploration and gentle instruction from a breathless, worked up Amaya.

Zari spends a few minutes gently familiarizing herself with Amaya’s vulva. Her tongue is already coated in Amaya’s slick, lips too as she licks and sucks and almost nuzzles her way into Amaya’s folds in an effort to get a lay of the land. But then Amaya interrupts with a hand on Zari’s head and a quiet, “please.” A request that is paired with Amaya gently tugging Zari’s head upward, guiding her mouth back to Amaya’s clit. Zari tries to copy the circles that Amaya made against her own clit but her tongue isn’t used to the pattern, can’t keep a steady enough rhythm.

“It doesn’t have to be circles,” Amaya says above her and Zari had figured as much but she’s happy for the confirmation. Zari tries to remember the last time she did this, but it’s blurry, memories half-formed and useless so Zari decides to wing it, finally deciding she’s smart enough to figure this out on her own. She licks at her lips, at Amaya’s slick, then sets her mouth to cover Amaya’s clit and starts to suck gently and flick her tongue across Amaya’s clit in short, slow strokes.

“Good,” Amaya breathes out above her.

After a few minutes Zari switches it up again, uses the flat of her tongue to keep Amaya happy then moves back to circles and eventually she feels Amaya start to tense. The fingers against her scalp tighten and Amaya’s stomach muscles start to flex and Zari knows she’s in the final stretch now. Her jaw is starting to hurt a little but Amaya is breathing heavy, moaning into a pillow and Zari works at her clit with as much as she’s got and just like that Amaya’s thighs are pressed to her ears, her heels digging into Zari’s back. She keeps working at Amaya’s clit as her thighs flex and press harder and Zari feels more slick against her chin and somewhere, out in the room, she thinks she hears her name.

Amaya scratches gently at Zari’s head as her thighs finally release and Zari stills her mouth, licks her lips. Above her Amaya is sweating and smiling, bright and elated despite the exhaustion plain on her face. Zari climbs up the length of her, kisses her soundly before Amaya has the chance to say anything.

The pride swelling in Zari’s chest is plentiful, warm and wealthy and Zari kisses at Amaya’s mouth like she is a gift sent from the heavens. Because really, as far as Zari is concerned, she is.

“You’re very good at that,” Amaya says against Zari’s mouth after a fourth and fifth kiss.

“I think I can do better.” Zari asserts and Amaya’s smile widens.

“So that means we get to do this again?”

Zari is not entirely sure how  _ often _ she’ll be ready for this kind of thing but she realizes now that it certainly isn’t a one-off. Everything about what’s happened tonight is something that Zari knows she’d like to have again in the future, even if she’s sure tomorrow she’ll be positively spent.

“Yeah,” Zari answers, leaning in to kiss Amaya again, “I think we will.”

**Author's Note:**

> Okay juuust so everybody is clear (bc I feel like maybe there will be questions), Amaya, Zari and Nate are in kind of a tweaked parallel poly relationship. Tweaked in that Zari and Nate are obv friends but they don't talk about Amaya to each other. ALSO, my Zari is demisexual. :D


End file.
